Why Obedience is Bliss

Recap: Children, Obey Your Parents

Several weeks ago, we began studying Ephesians 6:1-3, a passage particularly relevant for youth. It addresses children's relationship to their parents.

In Ephesians, Paul first lays out the theology of salvation—God predestining us, saving us by the blood of Jesus Christ, bringing us from spiritual death to new life. Chapter 4 introduces putting off pointless things and putting on Christ-like qualities that benefit our lives and glorify God.

Paul then applies this new life to different relationships: with the world, within the church, and in the family. Marriage is the preeminent relationship, but for youth, the focus is on parents and children.

Last week, we examined verses 1-3: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—this is the first commandment with a promise.

Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Obeying parents isn't optional—it's God's decree. Honor means to treasure, value, esteem, and respect them. Unlike the other Ten Commandments, this one carries an explicit promise: it may go well with you, and you may live long in the land.

Obey in the Lord—meaning not if it involves sin. As Acts 4 teaches, we obey God rather than men. But for non-sinful commands, even if you don't see the immediate benefit, obey. This blesses every other relationship in life. The Greek word for "well" refers to relational well-being—marriages, friendships, relationships in Christ. Obedience creates ripple effects, bringing satisfaction in circumstances and joy as God intended.

Obedience to parents is a training ground. Sons learn to relate to future wives through how they treat their mothers. Daughters learn to respect future husbands through their fathers. Friendships and more are impacted. Obeying results in blessing and benefit, an extra measure of grace beyond salvation, extending lifespan to experience God's blessings longer.

Fathers, Do Not Provoke Your Children

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Verse 4 concludes family relationships, addressing parents—specifically fathers as leaders, representing the unified husband-wife unit from Ephesians 5. Though youth aren't parents yet, this informs our future and current obedience.

Obeying parents is one of the most difficult principles for youth. Almost every struggle ties back to it. Master this, and much falls into place. If you treasure Christ and your parents, obedience follows willingly. It shores up life struggles, even sin battles, and brings true freedom—not the world's reckless kind, but freedom within God's bounds.

Common problems in families mirror the fall in Genesis 3: children disobey, parents provoke to anger. Children battle over homework, chores, friendships. The dance of provocation and angry response ensues. But treasuring parents means demonstrating love through obedience, not words alone. Faith proves itself in action, like Abraham with Isaac.

Default response to parental correction is anger: "I hate you," "Get out of my face." But if parents aren't sinning and you respond in anger, the burden shifts to you. Obey for God's glory, not to manipulate parents. New life means living to glorify God, restricting self-glorifying activities—friendships, games, whatever competes with His glory.

Practical Application for Youth

You control little over parents' actions—they will provoke at times. Your choice: resist anger. Communicate, encourage them: "That made me happy," "Thank you for praying with me," "Would you pray with me?" Compliment right decisions, thank for discipline.

Hebrews 12:9
Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?

Discipline proves love—Proverbs says sparing it hates children. Parents who discipline instruct in Lord's ways. Thank them for Bible studies, even if boring then. Encourage: "Dad, read Scripture with me," "What do you think of this passage?"

Parents fight your sin reactions, not just temptations. Obedience simplifies life. Rarely do I counsel parents about kids—usually kids about parents. Encourage discipline: "I need your help to grow like Christ."

"Instruction" (admonition, from noutheteo—biblical counseling) means godly direction, wisdom. Ask: "What should I do with my life? Date this person? Choose this job or college?" Parents know you best, offer wisdom you've yet to gain.

The Burden of Responsibility

If parents discipline and you anger, sin is yours. Their role shifts burden to you when you respond wrongly. You're depriving yourself of blessing. Repent, obey to glorify God.

As you age or move out, obedience intensity lessens, especially post-marriage. But now, fulfill your role. If parents fail, encourage them lovingly. If severe, seek pastoral help. Negative response is sin, hurting you.

True freedom is Christ's, within obedience. Parents trust obedient kids, defend them. Obeying avoids a harder road of self-centered detours. Parents, by God's grace, guide you to the right lane. Learn from them, even poor advice—pastors can redirect. They're sovereignly placed for your good. ```