Preserving Purity Through Preserving Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Contextual Flow from Purity to Marriage Preservation

Seems like somewhat of an inconsistent break within the context to all of a sudden begin to talk about marriage, divorce, and remarriage when we were talking about purity. We were talking about romantic relationships prior to marriage and those romantic relationships that result in marriage. They are instrumental in the lives of those who struggle with sexual sin as a means of helping with sexual sin.

Not that marriage replaces repentance. If you remember the topics we've discussed regarding marriage's ability to help avoid fornication, we have two specific problems with fornication. We have sexuality, which you cannot repent of. You were created that way, designed to be sexual with somebody of the opposite sex in marriage. You were created biologically to experience physical intimacy.

The very reason why right now you would not be sexual is because that programmed biological intimate instruction, hard-coded into your DNA, is supposed to remain dormant until the opportunity in which you can express that freely inside marriage. The problem happens when sin is introduced and it awakens that sexual desire prematurely. Now you have to deal with that somehow, but you can't deal with it with repentance because it's not sinful to have that biology.

So you have to have some kind of avenue to scripturally and biblically deal with that, and that's marriage. You're supposed to get married in order to deal with that. On the other side is the sin itself of fornication, for which you should repent of having committed it. Because of those two concepts together, it is necessary to get married rather than to burn in your passions as an opportunity and a means to free you from the biological aspect of this issue and enable you to focus more upon repenting from fornication while dealing with the biology at the same time.

Marriage is a wonderful opportunity for that if you are able to be married. From the ending portions of chapter 6—don't fornicate, flee from fornication, do not sin—into the beginning portions of chapter 7, here's a biblical prescription of how you can deal with sexual sin, how you can engage in purity. Once you're in marriage, don't deprive each other. Don't cut each other off from the God-given natural means of dealing with the struggle of sexuality and the God-given natural gift of enjoying sexuality inside marriage.

You don't have authority over your body sexually. You have zero ability to exercise sexual authority over your body. It belongs to your spouse. If you don't have a spouse, you don't exercise any kind of sexual authority over your body. That is the right of your spouse to exercise that authority over you. It is an authority that is not demanded by one spouse but given by one spouse to the other. Don't hold that back when you're inside marriage.

Christ Commands Preserving Marriage for Purity's Sake

Marriage, divorce, and remarriage doesn't necessarily follow logically within the context, or maybe it does. As I examine verses 10 to 16 in 1 Corinthians 7, I see that the practice of purity, which is the context we've been in, continues with the preservation of purity through the preservation of marriage.

Think about it from the flow of the context: marriage is your ability to preserve your purity. Once you get into marriage, that intimacy is not fornication; it is purity. In fact, it is intimacy with a fantastic component tied to it that is unto the glory of God because you're using your body correctly, rightly. God receives glory when his created order acts the way it's supposed to.

Intimacy inside marriage is a fantastic concept and an important principle. I'm not trying to introduce a desire for sex on its own, but a desire for it in its proper context over against fornication, in its proper time. Marriage is God's gift to experience and express physical intimacy between one man and one woman for life. That is a preservation of purity.

The Apostle Paul connects those concepts: preserving marriage, which preserves purity. In order to continue preserving purity, it naturally follows that we should have a doctrine regarding the preservation of marriage, one of the greatest instruments for preserving purity.

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Christ commands preserving marriage. I had a choice in phrasing that: "don't divorce" versus "preserve marriage." The positive phrasing recognizes the significance of what marriage is and the necessity to fight for its preservation. The focus of this passage is to preserve marriage.

Verse 10: "To the married I give this charge"—that's a command. "Not my command, but the Lord Jesus Christ's command: a spouse should not divorce their spouse. You should stay married. Preserve marriage." This is the commandment of Christ himself.

What About When People Do Divorce?

There's a significant question: what do we do with the reality that people do divorce? It doesn't matter how many sermons we give or counseling sessions we endure, telling people God's design for marriage is permanent, a covenant "till death do us part." People will still divorce.

So what do you do with people in the church who divorce and are not preserving marriage or purity? Verse 11: if they divorce, they need to remain unmarried or be reconciled. The specifics relate to purity. There is an impurity when individuals divorce, break the covenant, and marry somebody else—it's adultery.

Divorcing your spouse and marrying another is dishonest; that marriage was not dissolved by death or other narrow instances. Your reality of romance was to remain single or be reconciled to your legitimate spouse. Going into another relationship commits adultery, unfaithfulness, impurity.

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Jesus corrects misunderstandings of the law. Moses permitted divorce with a certificate, but Jesus says the correct interpretation is no divorce except for sexual immorality. From the beginning, it was not so. God's creation of marriage did not include an option to end prematurely before death.

God saw your marriage from the beginning as unbreakable continual love, forgiveness, and enjoyment, even knowing sin would bring conflicts. Moses allowed divorce because of hardness of heart—unwillingness to make the marriage work.

Two passages mention "except for fornication," an ongoing allowance for divorce on narrow grounds. But it still roots in unwillingness to make the marriage work. With fornication, "they hurt me too deep, I cannot get past it"—that's "I will not get past it." I hope when you marry, you don't include an "except for fornication" clause in your vows.

If divorce takes place not on grounds of sexual immorality (physical act outside covenant bonds—not emotional affairs, kissing, texting, porn, abuse, or not taking out trash), marrying another commits adultery. There is permission for remarriage without adultery if divorce was on fornication grounds.

The Call to Forgiveness in Marriage

Other passages don't go away in marriage context.

Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.

If your spouse commits fornication, rebuke and—if she repents—forgive, even seven times. Do you see the significance of marriage and its honesty regarding the gospel? Scripture fits together; no scripture overrides forgiveness.

Paul doesn't even mention fornication as an option here, though he knows the Lord's commands. His focus to the Corinthian church rampant with fornication: preserve marriage to preserve purity. Don't divorce. There is a way to work on the marriage.

Marriage speaks something honest: the two becoming one flesh references Christ and his bride. Jesus never divorces us, the most adulterous people (Ezekiel 16). Instill forgiveness into those who have received forgiveness from God. Be diligent about it.