Dating Attributes, Part 2

Introduction: Glorifying God in Dating

If I'm interested in dating, there are two concepts I need to understand: who I should be looking for and who I should be before I start dating. If these are missing, we risk heartache or, worse, not glorifying God in the relationship.

The glory of God is our first concern in dating, as it is in every area of life. Dating is simply another instrument to bring glory to God.

We saw three kinds of romantic relationships in the Bible: promised to marriage, engaged to marriage, and marriage. Outside of these, no other romantic relationship exists. Outside of marriage, physical intimacy belongs only to marriage. Physical expressions must maintain purity, with sexuality dormant. Intimacy should be holy, like the "holy kiss" in the New Testament—non-sexual.

Once purity is rooted, ask: What am I looking for in a potential spouse? Better yet: Lord, make me the right spouse—someone who can bless another.

Agreement: Amos 3:3

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

Two cannot walk together unless they agree in beliefs, philosophies, and goals. This applies to friendships, workplaces, business partnerships—not just romance. Without agreement, relationships fail to glorify God.

Qualities for Men (and What Women Should Look For)

Last week focused on qualities for women. Tonight, men: cultivate these qualities. Women: seek them in a potential husband. Men bear greater responsibility, as Adam represented humanity in the fall (Genesis via Romans 5). Marriage carries extreme weight—like the disciples' response in Matthew 19: "If that's marriage, better not to marry." Your response should be commitment to holiness or abstinence.

Manliness ties to Christ-likeness—He is the second Adam, the perfect husband. Womanhood ties to Christ's submission to the Father. Christ-likeness is the litmus test for dating readiness: live by what Jesus did (Galatians 2:20).

1 Timothy 2:8 – Prayerful Men

I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling.

Men should pray in every place—restaurant, home, date—maintaining open communication with God. Prayer applies Scripture thoughtfully in context. Example: Pray for provision, then work diligently (not play video games).

Holy hands mean holy behavior: no anger or quarreling. Men who argue consistently or anger easily lack maturity for relationships or leadership. This isn't defending the faith but rebelling against authority, like quarreling with parents or bosses.

1 Peter 3:7 – Understanding and Honorable

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Honor her as the weaker—but priceless—vessel, like fragile antiquity pottery of immeasurable value. Live with patience, regardless of her actions. Never verbally or physically harm her—no context justifies it. Disrespect or sin from her doesn't excuse retaliation. Unhindered prayers require this.

Women: Avoid men who won't honor you this way. Missionary dating won't change him—sinners push buttons worse together.

Ephesians 5:25-33 – Sacrificial Love

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies... Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Love as Christ: give yourself up for her sanctification. Prioritize her spirituality, feeling loved, access to all of you—emotional, spiritual, intimate. Love as your own body: nourish, cherish, provide.

Marriage displays the gospel—no fairy tales. Leadership is humility, servitude, sacrifice—like Christ washing feet. Men: If quick to physical intimacy, you're not ready. Prioritize her holiness, protect her purity and value—not as an object, but as a fellow heir to teach and bless spiritually.

Final Questions for Readiness

Men: Can you spiritually invest in her? Does she agree (Amos 3:3), submit to your investment, share goals?

Understand biblical roles: men's headship, women's submission. Live the gospel, pursue holiness first. Trust God to make you the spouse needed. Review these truths diligently.