A Biblical Perspective on Love and Acceptance

Perceiving the Love of God

To properly love, one needs to perceive the love of God. In John 3:16, God loved the world to such a high degree that He gave His only unique Son, so that everyone believing in Him will not perish but have eternal life. Jesus's point to Nicodemus is that God loved the world with such a significantly high degree of love that it motivated Him to send His Son for believers' salvation.

What quality of love are we devoted to? We may have been setting our sights too low on love. God's love involved the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for our salvation and forgiveness of sins. It was a high degree of love.

There are different kinds of love: brotherly love, familial love, romantic love, even erotic love. We know these differences. A common Greek word is agape, meaning a warm regard, interest in, or satisfaction with something.

Love is a willing, conscious, special devotion for one's satisfaction and special interest to be found in someone else, in whom one achieves satisfaction through giving oneself over for the satisfaction of someone else.

This love finds satisfaction when someone else benefits, even at our own expense. There are degrees of this love. We do not love everyone equally, nor should we, nor does God.

The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence. (Psalm 11:5)

Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? (Psalm 139:21)

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)

God loves Jacob but hates Esau (Romans 9:13). Husbands, love your wives (Ephesians 5). These show degrees of love: common love versus special love. I love this church, but I love my wife more. By comparison, the difference is so great it could be called hate.

Whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we know that we are in him. Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. (1 John 2:5-6)

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. (1 John 3:1)

By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. (1 John 3:10)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)

To perceive God's love means our lifestyle conforms to it. If you practice righteousness and love your brother, you are a child of God. Hatred toward even one fellow Christian shows you are not. Regeneration precedes love; unless born again, one cannot love as God does.

By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. (1 John 5:2-3)

Love as Irreconcilable with Sin

To properly love, one needs to perceive love as irreconcilable with sin. They are not compatible. Love is patient, kind, does not boast (1 Corinthians 13). Love does not sin; it opposes sin. The antithesis of sin is love.

God's high degree of love in John 3:16 and greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends (John 15:13) redeems and purifies. Come as you are to Christ, but leave changed. Such were some of you, but you were washed (1 Corinthians 6).

Perceiving Acceptance and Rejection

To properly love, one needs to perceive acceptance and rejection. Acceptance means receiving someone, giving admittance or approval, regarding as proper or normal—who they are, what they believe, their lifestyle.

The church is people, not a building; it is believers, not inclusive of unbelievers. People can come, hear the Word, and either believe or be offended. Saturate life with the gospel: others will convert or reject you.

Reject unrepentant sinners in the church: purge the evil person (1 Corinthians 5:9-13). Do not eat with them. This is loving, placing them outside covenant community to feel the sting and repent. Church discipline is God's love (Hebrews 12:5-8).

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault... If he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17)

Reject false teachers who creep in (Jude, 2 Peter), especially those promoting sensuality without doctrine, like Balaam. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). Bad company ruins good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Jesus ate with sinners to call them to repentance (Mark 2:15-17). He knew His sheep. Associate to evangelize, but it will offend or convert.

Closing Considerations

As a Christian, be loving—you are born of love. True love concerns others' holiness. Sin destroys like acid; God judges by giving over to it (Romans 1). Affirming sin is not love.

Strive for perfected love; do not settle for less. Saturate love with the gospel: Christ forgives infinitely more than any offense against you.

God determines how we love and are loved. He sovereignly calls us to the highest love in covenant community.